More Pessmistic Cynicism

In American History class today, we talked a lot about the Vietnam War era, part of which was about the draft and how many chose to burn their draft cards in protest.  It made me think, if I were drafted into a war overseas today, would I go or willingly go to jail because I don't believe in the cause enough to put my life on the line for it?  Then I thought it was depressing how if you tried to state your case, it would probably be met with cries of not believing in freedom or America.

But really, wars overseas are not about defense, they are about offense.  A war where you are defending freedom would be like the American Revolution, where it is fought right at home out of self defense.  Even then, is it about freedom or self preservation?  Is any war really about freedom or anything that idealistic?  Not really.  It can always be traced to some other goal, in the case of Vietnam it was out of irrational fear that communism was spreading across the world and it was up to us to stomp it out.  In the case of Afghanistan it was initially about revenge, and now it's about who knows what.  In the case of Iraq it was a misguided sense of justice that followed the "high" of fighting for America.  War is depressing in general, and it's also depressing that they never accomplish the good things they claim to be trying to accomplish.  Things like that throughout history make me loose faith in America in general.  It probably has the best living conditions overall in the world and I'm glad to live here.  Really I guess things like that make me loose faith in humanity in general since other countries are no better really, their causes are just different, be it for the Queen or power or whatever.

Individuals can display love and geniune affection and can display cruelty and selfishness.  But at the international level, it seems like it is always selfishness and non-truth.  Yet sadly, large national bodies and governments appear to be necessary for a stable society.  It's a sad cycle and I'd probably be the same way in a position of power, so I can't really fell smug and righteous or anything.  It sometimes feels like life is a giant series of illusions and delusions.  I really long for something pure and geniune that doesn't have a hidden sinister goal of some kind.  Maybe that just isn't a possible thing.

Blues

Feel down today, probably due to several things.  I probably have to drop economics and I essentially was turned down for even something like a cup of coffee.  It's probably not as bad as I think, but the past couple days have just felt very lonely and like I just don't have much to be excited about at the moment.  We'll see what the next week might have in store I guess.